


When There Was Me and You

by donovanpsn



Series: Descendants Songfics [3]
Category: Descendants (2015)
Genre: M/M, THIS IS REALLY, but duh I mean it's based off of the saddest HSM1 song, it's also not very good but the HSM reunion got me feeling some typa way, kinda depressing actually, really short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-21
Updated: 2016-05-14
Packaged: 2018-05-15 08:12:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5778088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/donovanpsn/pseuds/donovanpsn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lately, Jay has been neglecting his ever present boyfriend in favor of his precious Tourney team.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I was watching the HSM Reunion and I just had to I legit cried when Gabriella sang her solo and all I could imagine was Carlos singing it and this happened. I'm so sorry for this.

    Carlos sighed, leaning back against the plain white wall of his Chemistry classroom. Currently, he had a free block, and the classroom was deserted. Thankfully, Auradonian teachers tend to leave their classroom doors open, giving him ample opportunity to break in whenever he needs to find solace in himself, away from his peers. 

    It’s funny, when you find yourself looking in from the outside. He tilted his head slightly, his gaze shifting until it was pointed out the window and down to the Tourney field. There. The heart of his heartache. 

    “ _ Tourney. _ ” He scoffed bitterly, his eyes zeroing in on the blue and yellow ocean of students that made up Auradon Prep’s over populated Tourney team. “Nothing beats Tourney, I guess.” He sighed, recognizing his Jay right away, even at such a tremendous distance. His eyesight always has been pretty spectacular.

    All he wanted was to be down there, with Jay. Making him laugh. Predicting his plays. Being his brain. He would give  _ anything _ . 

     He pulled his phone up, trying to figure out why he seemingly  _ loved _ to torture himself like this. He pulled up his message thread with Jay, lowering the brightness so that the light wouldn't burn his eyes so much. 

    He flicked his thumb across the scene, scrolling up until he settled on a random place to begin torturing himself. Even now, he could feel the lingering sting of Jay’s curt replies as if he were receiving the messages in real time. 

    Every single message he sent was responded to with short, simple replies that lacked emotion of any kind. Once upon a time, he and Jay would send each other paragraphs- mini novels really- that portrayed what they were feeling and what they wanted to get across to each other. Jay used to put some actual  _ thought  _ into his messages. He used to reply to Carlos’  _ “I love you” _ s with “ _ I love you too” _ s. Now, all Carlos ever gets is a “ _ u 2” _ . But only if Jay even bothers to respond. 

    “God, why did this happen to us?” Carlos asked quietly, dropping his phone onto the counter next to him with a loud clatter. He paid it no mind- being best friends with the King means he can get whatever he wants at a moment’s notice. 

    “Why do I even bother asking myself that anymore?” Carlos scoffed, his eyelashes fluttering to flick away the stray tears that were beginning to accumulate. “It was gonna happen eventually, anyways. Villains don't get a happily ever after.” He mumbled, watching his Jay laugh and run around on the field.  _ But then, why is Jay so happy? _

    “Maybe he was never really a villain to begin with.” Carlos observed, his lips pursed into a thin, pale streak across his face. 

    He glanced back down at Jay, his heart clenching painfully as he watched him flirt with the cheerleaders. “Boyfriend my ass. I barely see him.” He cursed bitterly, the words leaving a foul taste in his mouth. 

    “Why did I ever let myself believe that miracles could happen? I just fucked myself over because now I have to pretend I don't care, even though it  _ kills _ me.” He whispered softly, his voice laced with anguish. 

    “He was supposed to be my fairytale.” He choked, a single tear streaking down his freckled cheek. The pioneer for an entire ocean of tears. 

  “He was supposed to be my day dream! My one wish upon a star! How could he do this to me?” He sobbed, sliding down the wall until he was curled up and pressed into the corner. Just like before, when he would hide away from his mother in her own closet. 

    In his mind, he could still see Jay’s smile. Jay’s beautiful, twisted, heart breaking smile. It used to make him feel like he could sing along, but now, Jay changed the words. He changed the entire fucking song and left Carlos all alone, all over again. With an empty heart.

    “All I have is what used to be.” Carlos admitted to himself, his voice faint and broken. 

    Now, he knows that Jay isn't a fairy tale. He knows that dreams are made for sleeping and wishes on stars don’t come true. He can see that he confused his feelings and the truth, because he liked what he saw. 

    “I really, really thought you felt it too.” He choked, shaking his head slightly. He can't believe how stupid he was. “I miss when there was me and you.”


	2. I Gotta Go My Own Way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carlos is finally doing something for himself, for once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone else noticing the high school musical themes? I might just pull inspiration from an HSM3 song, if any has any suggestions!

    Jay was absolutely  _ buzzing _ . He felt like he was vibrating in his shoes. He still couldn't believe they had actually  _ won the championship game.  _ His first real victory with his team.

     Still, under all of his giddy excitement, he still felt lingering stabs of disappointment pricking his chest. Carlos hadn't come to watch the game. 

    Maybe if he thought more deeply, he would have realized that Carlos hadn't been to any of his games for a  _ very  _ long time. Maybe he would have realized just how far they had drifted. 

    Regardless of what he did or did not acknowledge, he found himself racing through the halls of Auradon Prep at unholy hours of the night, slightly buzzed and sweaty from dancing and drinking so much at the party when he probably should have been looking for his absent boyfriend. The only thing on his foggy mind was the urge to find Carlos and tell him about the big win. To make his boy proud.

* * *

 

    Carlos was not in quite as good a state of mind as his boyfriend. Earlier, after he had dragged himself from the empty classroom and scrubbed the tear tracks from his face, he made a decision. He had to move out of his dorm room. 

    He gave his heart no time to talk him out of it. He's a logical boy and he uses his  _ brain  _ to think, not his feelings, and  _ logically _ he knows that staying with Jay is simply not good for his health. He's always stressed out and exhausted and just…  _ done.  _ Completely, legitimately,  _ absolutely  _ done. With romance and love and all the complications that they drag along with them. 

    That's how he had found himself scouring the halls in search of the newest addition to their little band of misfits; the King of Auradon himself. The very moment he had locked eyes with Ben, the king knew something was very wrong. All things considered, he had seen it coming. They all had. Every one of their friends knew one day Carlos would snap and they had been watching closely with bated breaths, unable to do anything to help because there was simply nothing to be done. 

    It had been easy enough, getting Ben and Fairy Godmother to approve his room switch. He fed FG some bullshit about wanting to spread his wings and gain some independence now that he didn't have to cling to his friends so tightly, but he told Ben the truth. The whole truth. Every ugly detail about how they had spiraled so far into flames of disaster. 

    Ben, of course, had offered to help in any way he could, but Carlos turned him down. Told him that this was his problem to handle and his confrontation to make. 

    Now, he was standing in his old bedroom, his fingers curled so tightly into whatever they latched onto that his knuckles were white and bulging. He had already packed up most of his things; really, he had just shoved everything into two duffel bags he had borrowed from Audrey and Lonnie. They were pink and turquoise and vaguely glittery and didn't match their purpose at all, but they did their job just fine. His half of the room was almost entirely bare, every picture and poster removed from the walls. Every picture, that is, save for the ones of him and Jay. Those were stacked in a neat pile on top of Jay’s night stand, waiting to be packed or burned or tossed or whatever Jay would do with them. 

    His breath caught in his throat when he heard the doorknob turn for the first time since he came in so many hours ago. “Here we go.” He whispered to himself, his voice ragged and weary and wavering around the edges due to the soft whimpered that slipped out with his tears. 

    “Carlos? Hey!” Jay exclaimed, a wide grin stretching across his face as he slipped into their shared room, his mind still twenty paces behind him. “You'll never believe it! We won the championship!” He cheered, his voice practically dripping with happiness and  _ God,  _ it's gonna tear Carlos up when he rips that happiness away. “Where were you? I was kind of hoping you would be at the game…” He trailed off, a small, disappointed frown replacing his grin. 

    “Carlos? Hey…” He repeated when the boy didn't respond to him, stepping closer to place a hand on Carlos’ shoulder. That was the exact moment his brain finally caught up with him. Everything hit him at once. Carlos crying. Carlos packing his things away. Carlos not looking at him. Carlos shrugging his hand off.  _ Carlos.  _

    “Carlos?” He asked again, his voice now several octaves lower and immensely soft. Carlos couldn't remember the last time Jay spoke to him with so much concern. Treated him with care. 

    “Carlos, you're scaring me. Please talk to me. Why are you packing?” He pleaded, resisting the urge to step even further into Carlos’ personal space. 

     Carlos hefted in a huge breath, his entire body rising and expanding on the inhale. He released it on a long sigh, his whole demeanor slumping. Jay had never heard anything so dejected. 

    “Jay, listen. We… We need to talk.” He informed, struggling to control his breathing. He would  _ not  _ break down. 

    Jay stared at Carlos for a moment before chuckling softly, sounding nervous and unsure even to his own ears. “You really shouldn't start a conversation like that, C. That's how people in movies break up.” He reminded gently, his forehand pinched slightly with worry. When Carlos didn't say anything more, he choked quietly, his eyes widening slightly, “O-Oh…”

    “Look. You can't look me in the eye and tell me that you think we’ve been okay, lately.” He began, his fingers curling tighter around the bright blue jersey in his hands. It was the one Jay had given him ages ago, after the coach gifted him with a new one. 

    Jay was at a loss for words. Never in a million years would he have thought his sweet Carlos would do something as drastic as dumping him. Yes, he realizes that things have been hard on them for a while, but… Things have just been hard for him, lately. He thought Carlos understood that. He opened his mouth to protest, but was silenced when Carlos barreled on, giving him no time to fight back. 

    “Please, just let me talk for a little bit. I need to say what's been on my mind.” He requested softly, sucking his lower lip between his teeth as he waited for Jay to cut in. Surprisingly, the boy stayed silent, granting Carlos time to speak. 

    “It's just… I don't know, Jay. Something about us just hasn't felt right for so long and I'm so  _ tired  _ of it. I've exhausted all of my options and I just… I'm just so tired of it all, Jay.” He admitted, turning to face his boyfriend completely for the first time all night. The pain in his eyes was intense enough to break a thousand hearts. 

    “It's like, no matter what we do or say or try, something or another fucks it up. We never have time for each other anymore and it  _ kills  _ me. Even on the days we’re both free, I can't catch any of your time because you're always running new drills or bonding with the team or chasing after cheerleaders for fun and I… Do you even realize how many times you've stood me up this week alone, Jay? Three times. It's only fucking Wednesday.” He scoffed, his voice wavering as he tried valiantly to keep himself composed. He was finally saying everything he's been holding in for so long and he would be  _ damned  _ if he let himself fuck it up. 

    “I know tourney is something you love and I don't blame you for giving it your all, but there are other things in your life that need your attention too, Jay. You spent our one year anniversary on the fucking field, for God’s sake. I know that things like that aren't important on the Isle, but I was really hoping things could be better for us here. But now I know that we’re Isle kids through and through and nothing can ever be  _ better _ for people like us. At least not when we’re thrown together.” He sighed, desperately avoiding the feeling of nails hammering through his heart. 

    “I'm done, Jay.”

    Jay knew it was coming. He knew it from the second he saw that look in his boyfriend’s eyes but… He was hoping it wouldn't hurt so bad. “What… What do you mean you're  _ done _ , Carlos?” He demanded, his voice taking on an edge of hysteria. He reached out, latching on to Carlos’ arm. “No, please tell me you don't mean what I think you mean. Carlos, please. I promise to do better. I'll do anything just… Please don't leave me.” 

    “It's so hard for me to say it, Jay, but it's what's best for me. You'll be okay. You're always okay.” He promised hollowly, knowing that neither of them could walk away from this unscathed. 

    “I've got to move on, Jay. I need to be who I am, without always wondering if my boyfriend will love me today or not. I don't want to leave everything we have behind but I'm so fucking done with with getting my hopes up just to watch them fall.” He wrapped his hand around Jay’s wrist, his fingers not even managing to reach all the way around due to all the muscle Jay had been gaining recently. He tugged gently, pulling Jay's hand loose and off of his arm so he could stuff the jersey away and zip up his bags. 

    “I'm tired of watching everything about our relationship turn grey. It hurts too much to watch what we used to have fade away. I'm leaving because it's what's best for me and it's what I need.” He sighed, staring down at his hands, which were splayed out over the colorful duffel bags. 

    “What about  _ us, _ Carlos? What about everything we’ve been through, on the Isle and with our parents and even  _ here _ ?” Jay argued desperately, his eyes shining with tears of his own. 

    “What about  _ trust _ , Jay?” Carlos shot back, his voice raising slightly due to equal parts frustration and sadness. “What about all those girls you flirt with nowadays, huh? I know you gave up stealing as a hobby when you chose good, so I know there's no ulterior motive to you getting handsy with everyone. How could you do that to me and expect me to not bat an eyelash?” He demanded, his voice rising to a borderline shout as he poured all of his hurt and frustration and anger out onto the cause of all his pain. 

    “You know that I never meant to hurt you, C…” Jay whispered meekly, sounding so vulnerable and entirely  _ lost _ and Carlos had no idea how to handle it. It hurt so much, knowing he's the reason Jay sounds that way. 

    “What about me, Jay? What am I supposed to do when I'm constantly waiting for you to notice me? That isn't good for me, Jay. Or for you.” He informed, reaching out a hesitant hand to drop it on Jay’s shoulder in a weak attempt at comfort. “I'm leaving, that's for sure, but I need you to know that I will miss you and what we had with every fiber of my being.”

     “Then don't leave me!” Jay sobbed, finally falling apart as he crumpled to his knees in front of the love of his life. He wrapped his strong arms around Carlos’ waist, burying his face in the boy’s stomach. He was probably soaking through Carlos’ t-shirt with his tears, but he couldn't bring himself to care. “Please, Carlos. I’m so sorry for everything. I'll do anything to fix what I broke just… I need you like I need air, Carlos. You're it for me. You're the love of my whole fucking life. You're my happily ever after.”

    “Maybe villains don't deserve happily ever afters.” Carlos whispered weakly, and it could kill a man. 

    “I don't belong here anymore, Jay. Maybe one day we’ll find our place in this world and we’ll find a way back to each other but… Right now, I've got to go my own way. I hope you can understand that.” He sank down in front of Jay, taking his love’s face in his hands. “Please understand that, Jay.” He begged resting their foreheads together. 

    Jay took advantage of their close proximity, closing the gap between them to seal their lips together for what could be the very last time. He poured his entire being into their kiss, his desperation and his regret and his all encompassing love for the boy in front of him. 

    For a brief moment, Carlos let himself be consumed by Jay. He let himself travel backwards in time; back to when their love wasn't nearly as painful as it is now. But then their tears mixed on their tongues and he was ripped out of his reverie and thrown back into painful reality. 

    Gently, he pushed Jay back, dislodging himself from his ex boyfriend and standing up on shaking legs. “I'm sorry, Jay.” He whispered, gathering his bags and rushing to the door. Just before he could leave, though, Jay’s voice cut through the air, offering Carlos an olive branch. No, fuck an olive branch. He was practically waving a white flag. 

    “I'll quit tourney.”

    Carlos smiled ruefully, thumping his head against the doorframe lightly. Those words would have been so much more comforting if he actually believed Jay could do it. If he thought he could live with himself if Jay actually  _ did it.  _ No matter what, he would not let Jay give up the one thing he had ever loved more than Carlos. 

   With one last watery smile at the love of his life, Carlos stepped through the door, pausing only to make one final declaration. 

    “I love you too, Jay.”

    And he was gone. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that was... something. Anyways, like I said, HSM3 song requests for a third installment are very much encouraged!

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and Comments greatly appreciated! Thank you so much for reading! Let me know what you think <3


End file.
